How many times do you hear someone speaking away, and then something happens inside the speaker, and before you know it, you hear the non-word, "Ummm...." uttered between actual words? Do you start counting the "Ummms"? Or do you wonder what is causing the "Ummm-ing"? Perhaps you've noticed that it is you who uses "Ummm," and you wonder what to do instead. Read on, dear reader, for help is just a few sentences away.
We all (may) make non-speech sounds from time to time. The most common ones we hear are "Ummm....," "Ahhh...," and "Uhhh...". We also hear the expression, "Ya know, or You know" a lot. Once in awhile, these "pauses" or speech interruptors don't cause a problem. However, if used often, they become vocal distractors. Folks start to miss the point of what is being said, for they are distracted by the non-speech sounds or the interjected phrase, "Ya/you know."
("Like" is a cousin of "Ya know or you know," for they are interjections that give a message other than the topic at hand. I'll write about possible meanings regarding "Ya/you know" another time soon. "Like" has already been discussed in a previous post.)
Let's talk about the non-speech sounds. Usually we make those sounds when we feel insecure about some aspect of what we're saying (the process---the way in which we're going about expressing ourselves, or the content---the subject matter at hand), or we're trying to think of the next word or thought we'd like to express. If we're in intense emotional territory, the "Ummms" and "Ahhhs" may pop up a lot more than if we're simply describing the weather.
Since "Ummm" is not a word, what is it? I would submit to you that it's an incorrect use of breath or silence.
What to do instead?
(1) In a phrase, you (or I) need to take our time. Slow down. Give yourself a few seconds to think, consider what you want to say, or simply to pause. It's absolutely fine to be quiet in the middle of what you're saying, and then to resume your pace when you know what you wish to express. Besides, this alteration in timing...may even make you a more interesting speaker.
(2) Now that you're giving yourself some time to think when you're speaking, I also encourage you to give yourself time to breathe more. (In fact, breathe in a lot more for your general health and for effective, compelling speaking.) We often utter the non-word, "Ummm," which is basically an exhale with sound (or a place to pause), when it would serve us well to inhale instead. Take in some air/oxygen as you pause rather than keeping on making sound on your exhale that becomes distracting---especially the infamous "Ummm." The same goes for "Uhhh" and "Ahhh."
You are naturally entitled to take your time, to slow down, and to speak in a way that makes you comfortable and is attractive to your listener(s). Breathe in, and release the habit of "Umming." You'll be glad you did, and so will we!
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