Many of you have, no doubt, seen "American Idol" tryouts and then all the subsequent phases of competition. Perhaps many of you have also scratched your head or found your jaw dropping open when you see and hear some of the contestants. I am a very positive and supportive voice coach and life coach, and yet I am astonished and chagrined to see/hear so many young people misjudging their own abilities--even humiliating themselves in front of millions of viewers. Where has realistic self-esteem and self appraisal gone?
It is a magnificent thing to sing! It is wonderful to see people of all ages enjoying their voices---creating joy and celebration in song. I love to hear young people, especially, finding their voices, spreading their wings, and courageously showing up in life, trying out for this or that contest or role. Sometimes, the person least expected to be chosen, is. And yet, more often than not, many go home empty handed and heavy-hearted. It's o.k. and important to learn from failure. It's important to manage heart-break and heart-ache. However, I am quite concerned about the number of young folks who try out for things that they (obvious to the rest of us) are very, very, very ill-fitted. There seems to be a profound unrealism about talent, capabilities---an out-of-touch, bizarre kind of self appraisal. Are they in love with an "image" of who they are? It's psychologically dangerous. This kind of destructive narcissism collides head-on with reality, resulting in pain and shame, rage or righteous indignation being the conduits for either. And many of the worst contestants feel totally (and falsely) entitled to be given a ticket to Hollywood. It's quite amazing to watch.!
There is an important difference between loving one's voice and deluding one's Self about being American "Idol" material. Perhaps the lure of fame and fortune thrills young folks so much that it becomes a hypnotic drug, blurring the senses and sensibilities about realistic talent or the lack thereof. It may dizzy the head, imagining the life of a "star" and all the doors that open after the competition is finished. So much so that realistic self-esteem or self-appraisal goes bye-bye. It's hard enough to realistically have good stage presence, a decent in-tune voice, and a style that the judges are looking for; it's nearly impossible for people who don't fit the mold at all sought-out by the judges. We've all seen and heard the kind of future star Paula, Simon and Randy seek; so do would-be idols. I wonder why they don't "get it"---"this is not me---this is not my talent?" I'm really curious as well as concerned. My concern is that there is no notion about earning what is given, or having appropriate talent to do the job.
Believing in one's Self is a magnificent thing. So is believing in one's Self because you've done the work to develop a skill or talent that becomes remarkable. This is realistic self esteem. It is my hope that young folks who pursue these kinds of huge opportunities do so because they might have a realistic shot at them---that they've worked hard to develop their talent and abilities, that they feel good about what they've achieved, and that they'd like to step up and audition. These folks also know that they may or may not be what the judges are looking for. They are respectful contestants: they stop when asked to stop, they don't argue or belittle the judges, and they treat themselves with respect as they leave.
Notice that those with the least talent usually argue and throw a fit. Once in awhile, however, someone who has talent that isn't the kind the trimuverant is looking for, may be told they are not talented, when, in fact, they are. They simply fit a different musical venue. I think the judges are off-base if they don't distinguish between style and talent. Many have talent in a different style than contests like American Idol want.
I am not necessarily a fan of "Idol." I am a fan of young people, of real talent, success, joy, and singing. I watch for real talent and have concern for unnecssary injury. I hope young folks will become more realistic about their capacities as they decide whether or not to become a contestant on something like American Idol.
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