My Weblog

Great folks on Teleseminar with wonderful Andrea

What a bunch of bright, receptive Teleseminar attendees, plus having the brilliance of Andrea Lee as host!
It was a joyous success! Now I can serve a broader world that longs to speak in compelling, authentic ways.

Great Teleseminar with Head Coach, Andrea Lee, and Voice Coach, Nicki McClusky

On Thursday, Feb. 28th, from 1-2 p.m. EST, join Andrea Lee and me for a fascinating Teleseminar on
"What Do Their Voices Really Reveal abou the U. S. presidential Candidates?" from a voice coaching perspective.

To register for this free call, go to: http://andreajlee.com and click on her BLOG. Once there, scroll down below the mind mapping article, and you'll see the short blurb she wrote about what's coming tomorrow.
Click where it says to do so, and it takes you to the registration page. Sign up, attend, or listen to the recording later if you register (48 hrs. later or so).

This will be a lively call on a fascinating topic. Most listerners will be able to relate to their own speaking strenghts and/or areas needing growth as they listen to what I, Nicki, have to say.

Come join us! There's a very meaty gift for you, once you register.

Unrealistic American Idol Contestants

Many of you have, no doubt, seen "American Idol" tryouts and then all the subsequent phases of competition. Perhaps many of you have also scratched your head or found your jaw dropping open when you see and hear some of the contestants. I am a very positive and supportive voice coach and life coach, and yet I am astonished and chagrined to see/hear so many young people misjudging their own abilities--even humiliating themselves in front of millions of viewers. Where has realistic self-esteem and self appraisal gone?

"Ya-no." "You Know." Who knows?

I promised I'd discuss this frequently used phrase, "Ya-no," or "You know." Here we go.

"Ummm..." is not a word.

How many times do you hear someone speaking away, and then something happens inside the speaker, and before you know it, you hear the non-word, "Ummm...." uttered between actual words? Do you start counting the "Ummms"? Or do you wonder what is causing the "Ummm-ing"? Perhaps you've noticed that it is you who uses "Ummm," and you wonder what to do instead. Read on, dear reader, for help is just a few sentences away.

"Like"

We hear this all the time..."It's, like, well, we went to, like, the mall." Did you or did you not go to the mall", is the question. Was it a real experience or "like" a real experience?

I don't know about you, but as a voice coach and a promoter of excellent speaking (in everyday conversation and in one's professional world), it drives me a little batty to hear "like" twice or more in one sentence when that word is not being used to point out a simile. As a voice therapist and psychotherapist, I hear something else going on other than a popular speech pattern being used; at least I think something else is going on, and I usually inquire at some appropriate point. The inquiry is about what in reality is painful or being moved away from, for some reason. "Like" is a step removed from "what is." When something is "like" something else, it is similar...not the same, not quite the real thing.

One day I sat with a young client who was describing a difficult interraction with her family. "Like" was front and center, all over the description. I could barely concentrate on what was being said, for "like" appeared about every fifth word. After she'd had a chance to 'download' the experience, I asked her if she thought she'd become aware of or expressed her deepest feelings about what had happened. She was quiet and then said, "No...because if I did, I think I'd explode!" She was absolutely furious with them. She was angry with herself that she hadn't found a way to take care of herself more than she had amidst the relating. And, under the anger, we discovered, was enormous pain. "Like" signaled me to listen for what was not being said about her deeper inner reality; I thought that it must be quite painful, also, since "like" was so predominant, telling us she'd moved away and away and away from what was most real for her.

She later asked me how I knew she had other deep feelings that remained unexpressed during the description of the interraction; I told her that I thought her frequent use of the word, "like" told me she was several steps away from what was most real and difficult for her to feel and name...her real anger and her real and deep pain. My client then said shethought she was using "that word" a lot and didn't know why. She felt embarrassed to use it so much, even though she felt compelled to do so.

We talked about "like" as something she could now utilize---it could become a noticing tool for her: if she could hear herself saying "like" more than once in a conversation, then at some point in the near future, she'd know to go inside herself and see what she might be truly feeling, truly thinking, truly experiencing. "Like," seen in this light, could be utilized as a beacon to illuminate the reality of her inner world. It was an important clue.

For many of us, hearing "like" used a lot in a sentence, interrupts the flow of conversation and is very distracting. The real meaning of what needs to be said seems hidden. If you find yourself in this spot, listening to "like" a lot, you might simply inquire in a respectful way, as to what is truly meant or felt. Some young folks do not realize that more is being expressed than simply a repeated and popular "speech pattern"---they are hiding truth. It is a powerful communicator. Perhaps we can encourage them or anyone who uses "like" a lot, to speak their truth and tell us what they really mean. The truth (as we know), can actually "set us free."

Devotion to Strength-Based Living...even in Crisis!

Dear Readers,
I have been away for quite some time, healing from a serious fall I took while protecting my grandchild; I broke both arms. Now you can imagine what life is like with no arms, can you not? Certainly you can: just put both of your thumbs in your waistband and keep them there for 3-4 weeks. :-) Now do life. With both arms in slings, I was not able to write until recently. I'm glad to be back!

The thing I wish to say clearly and profoundly, is that even in the midst of a challenge such as this, it is possible to live from amazing inner strength and positive foresight. I was actually quite astonished to experience feeling a profound strength from the very beginning---each step of the way, continuing now. And I attribute this inner strength and positiveness to the magnificent world of coaching! When a person shifts his/her inner life and convictions toward "I can do this...what do I need to learn first?"...everything is different. Everything! (And I also credit the profound world of life-changing therapy that prepared me so well for the coaching world...)

Breathe Deeply During Allergy Season

Trying to hide from the air during allergy season so your nose won't run and you won't sneeze? Well, guess what! Although contrary to what your body is saying (hide from those horrible, pesky pollen droplets and mold spores, etc.), using your conscious mind to breathe deeply will actually help the allergy-afflicted. Read on...

I cannot understand you!

I drive up to the window and hear, *(@#$...and would you like!@#$@@#$##? I always say, NO, partly because I have no idea what in the world was just said to me. Mumbling, rattling, speed-speaking and something other than intelligible speaking just doesn't "cut it." And guess what?! If you/I run a business and speak this way (or have employees who do), it dramatically affects your/my income. The way in which we speak is tremendously important. We sink or sell ourselves in the first seven seconds.